There will be several different postings here. Some will be health tips, excerpts from my own writings, Integral Deep Listening interviews, and answers to frequent questions. If you have a question, you can either leave it in a comment or e-mail your question to me. Email address Adrianne@adriannespeacefulhealing.com
What is acceptance? This is how it is
defined in Dictionary.com:
1. the act of taking or receiving something offered.
2. favorable reception; approval; favor.
3. the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.
4. the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.
As a core quality this is only the
surface of what it means. Sometimes acceptance means acknowledging
something that we don't necessarily agree with, it's a fact that we
have to accept. We don't have to agree with it, like it, or even
support it, we just have to accept it for what it is. I like to use
the analogy of the rising of the sun. I am not a morning person and
the sun always rises way to early for me, I don't like it yet I have
to accept that it will rise in it's appointed time. I can't change it
either.
Some believe that acceptance means that
we agree with someone or something. That is not the case. To accept
something means that we accept that it is there or that it is what
someone believes to be true. We don't have to agree with someone just
to accept their opinion on something. We don't even have to like what
we are being asked to accept. We just have to accept it.
There are parts of our subconscious
that understand what it means to accept what is around us and are
willing to share their insights on how to be more accepting.
The next Core Quality to be examined is
Wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom are not the same thing. We gain
knowledge through school and through reading, we gain wisdom by
experience.
the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just
judgment as
to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.
scholarly knowledge or learning: the wisdom of the schools.
Wisdom
as a core quality is more than what the dictionary tells us. It is a
knowing, without being superior. As a core quality it sees and knows
because of past experience. When we act and make decisions based on
wisdom, these choices come from the heart and are based in truth.
When
we are taught we gain knowledge. We gain knowledge from school,
parents, and others around us. It is when we live life and gain
experience that the knowledge that we have gained becomes wisdom.
There are aspects of ourselves that are in our subconscious that have
a great deal of wisdom. When we converse with them we gain their
wisdom as well.
This is a place to start. For it to be
a core quality compassion should be shown not only to those who are
suffering yet also to ourselves. Not just in times of sadness, also
any time that we interact with anyone for any reason. We can feel
compassion towards everyone without having to interact as well. We
especially need to remember to have compassion for ourselves.
It is compassion towards ourselves that
we have the hardest time doing. Yet this is exactly what we need to
do. When we are able to show compassion to ourselves we are better
able to show compassion to others. There are parts of us that know
exactly how to be compassionate. It is with Integral Deep Listening
that we can connect with that part of ourselves and hear what we need
to know on being compassionate.
The first of the core qualities I am
going to discuss is confidence. Just what is confidence?
Dictionary.com
defines it as:
full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a
person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to
succeed.
belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence;self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him.
While this is a good place to start it
doesn't quit measure up to being a core quality. I would add being
fearless as part of that definition. Truly knowing yourself and your
abilities, and being able and willing to push beyond the boundaries.
There are parts of our subconscious
that are full of confidence. That part of us knows that we can handle
any life issue that comes our way. That part is more than willing to
share their strength in confidence if we would allow it. As we grow
more confident in ourselves, we see the world and our life issues in
different light.
When I was first diagnosed with cancer
I was afraid, in disbelief, and in denial. Tapping into the parts of
me that are confident I was able to overcome the fear and make the
decisions necessary for my treatment. The more I allowed myself to
feel confident in my decisions the better I felt about what was going
on with my treatment.
We all have the six core qualities that
I will be discussing in more detail in following blogs. In each
situation that we face those qualities come into play, and they may
be at different levels depending on how we feel about the given
situation.
Integral Deep Listening explores how
our subconscious perceives itself according to these six qualities.
It also explores how we would act differently if we scored high in
all these areas. It also helps us discover new ways of resolving
current life issues. Please see my post for an in depth explanation
of IDL: What
is Dream Yoga?.
The six core qualities that I will
explain over the next postings are:
confidence
compassion
wisdom
acceptance
inner peace
witnessing
Integral Deep Listening works well for
everyone, it even works while undergoing chemotherapy and the chemo
fog that comes with it.
When it comes to cancer, or any disease
really, hypnotherapy works great. It helps with stress management,
pain relief, insomnia, and controlling fear. With the proper post
hypnotic suggestions all of these can be sustained through the entire
treatment process.
What the suggestions are depends on the
person. Some respond well to just remembering to breathe deeply,
others need a little more than that. Getting to know you is what will
give the best results through the whole process and will guide the
hypnotherapist to what works best.
To get the best results seeing a
hypnotherapist before starting treatments will give better success to
the treatments through the whole process. Especially before starting
chemotherapy. With chemotherapy a person will get what is commonly
known as chemo brain.
Chemo brain is a side effect of the
chemotherapy. It fogs the thinking process to the point that it is
sometimes difficult to put sentences together, it effects short term
memory, and has the effect of being in a different state of mind.
This different state of mind makes it difficult, if not impossible,
to be hypnotized. This is when having the proper post hypnotic
suggestions is crucial. Being reminded of them will help to relieve
stress, pain, fear, and insomnia.
There are other ways to relieve these
problems without using hypnotherapy, and a good hypnotherapist will
know what they are and how they can help you.
Just what does the phrase “new
normal” mean? It means that whatever had been the status quo before
cancer is not going to be the same after cancer. So that's a very
basic definition, yet that doesn't really convey exactly what it
means.
I have found that the recovery period
was not so much for getting over the disease itself, more for the
recovery from the treatment process. I am still learning to live with
some side effects from chemo therapy and radiation therapy. Hopefully
these will clear up shortly, a couple may take longer. These are part
of what my new normal is now. Yet these aren't the only things that
have changed.
When I first started this last journey
with cancer I had in mind of going back to work when I was done with
treatment and could think little clearer. After going through the
treatments and all the changes that brought on, I now know that
working a regular job is not for me. I am putting myself totally into
what I have wanted to do. I am writing, I am promoting myself and my
business, I am doing exactly what I want.
I am not the only person to get to the
other side of treatment to realize that life is to short to live like
others expect. Now is the time to do exactly what you are passionate
about. I had been taking care of myself, and being selfish during
treatment, just because I am done with treatment doesn't mean I have
to stop taking care of myself. The same goes for everyone who has
dealt with any serious illness. Even though you are past the illness
itself doesn't mean you have to stop taking care of you.
This is where keeping the lines of
communication open is a big step to getting the support that you
need. My book, I've Got
What, helps you to open those lines of communication with
yourself and those who care about you.
Using our imagination to “think”
ourselves healthy is a good thing. The only problem is that most
adults have a very limited imagination. This is usually because we
spend our time with the day to day necessities of life. We have
forgotten how to play.
When I watch a child play they are in
their own little world. They make up the rules for their play as they
go along. They are in control of what happens in their world. Even
when faced with a debilitating illness they find a way to play. With
encouragement they even use their imagination to be the hero in their
own fight to beat their illness.
After being diagnosed with cancer I
wanted to do more than just follow doctors orders. I wanted to be at
the center of making myself healthy once again. I remembered an old
article that I had read many years ago about children that were
encouraged to see themselves and their own immune system as heroes.
These heroes then would do battle with the disease. The study
recognized that the children who had been encouraged to become the
heroes in their recovery were quicker to recover than those children
who had not been encouraged to be their own heroes.
Knowing that my own thought processes
and imagination were hampered by the chemo therapy I decided to use
video games to boost my imagination. I found a game where I could
create my own character, and become the hero of the game. For every
villain, bandit, necromancer, vampire, werewolf, and dragon that I
killed it was one more cancer cell that died never to return. I
believe that between the chemo therapy and the video game I was able
to beat cancer.
In my play through while under going
treatment my character is a nord with a two-handed battle ax. This
character is now strong enough to knock the legs out from under the
opponent before striking them on the head for the death blow. The
name of my character is a German word for death.
Video games can be a waste of time,
especially if playing them comes before everything else that needs to
be done. Yet, when you can't go anywhere, see anyone, or do anything,
they are a great escape. When you use it as a supplement to your
imagination to beat an illness, no matter what it is, they are a very
good thing indeed. The video games help to focus the attention
thereby keeping the imagination engaged.
I want to apologize for the length of time between my posts. Life got in the way of what I wanted to do. Because of this I have spent the last three years rearranging my life and my priorities. Part of what happened is a move and a diagnosis of breast cancer. It is the latter of the two that has prompted me to get my life into focus and do that which I want to do, and not those things that others would have me do.
I have gotten even more serious about writing It is something that I have always enjoyed and wanted to do with the aim of becoming a published author. Part of that goal was to actually reach the goal set for National Novel Writing Month, which I have been participating in for the last eight years. I finally reached the 50,000 word goal in 2012. Part of being a winner for this group is that one of the sponsors will print five paperback copies of your book. I have my five copies of my first finished book. When I am finished editing it, it will be up for sale at Lean Pub, you can follow the link to at least see the cover of the book and sign up to be notified when it is published.
I do have book that is already for sale. It is partly about my experience with cancer and a workbook designed to help cancer patients and their caregivers open up the lines of communication that can close after hearing that you've got cancer. The book is entitled I've Got What?!? Asking for the Help You Need. When you go to this page you will be able to read the first chapter.
Because I like to write I am going to do my best at posting in this blog at least once a week. In the past I worried about what everyone thought, if I was going to offend or upset any of my readers. Not so much anymore, that doesn't men I'm going to go out of my way to offend everyone, I'm just not going to worry if I've offended anyone. I'm also going to put some of myself into my postings, something I hadn't really done in this one before. What I'm attempting to say is that I'm going to be more authentic in this blog than I was before.
I do hope that you will continue to follow my writings, and encourage others to read what I am writing. Thank you for being so patient with me.
When diagnosed with cancer one can begin to loose faith. It can be difficult to believe that there is a higher power that loves us when we a struck with any serious illness. Yet it is our connection with our spiritual life that helps us through the illness and the treatments. It is our belief system that keeps us grounded and able to handle anything that comes our way.
Being angry and denouncing our beliefs is a natural response to any life threatening illness. Staying angry though isolates us and then we define ourselves as the illness that we have. When we get past the anger and forgive ourselves, we find that our spiritual connection is more than a connection between us and our higher power.
Immersing ourselves in our spiritual beliefs is more than a connection to a higher power. There is also the community of people that hold the same beliefs. When that community is there supporting us, we feel better about ourselves and our illness. It also helps us through all the treatments, it also has a positive effect on our healing. It doesn't matter whether the illness is cured, in remission, or the prognosis is that there is only a short time to live, our beliefs help us to have the state of mind of love and compassion. We are then better able to face what the disease brings us, and our loved ones have a support group that will help them through the disease as well.
Even if your beliefs change, there is still the advantage of a community. You may even find that your spirituality becomes stronger. Doctors will treat the body, your beliefs will calm the mind. Positive thoughts especially when there is an illness helps keep the disease from taking over your life. Being involved in your spiritual community takes the mind off the illness and the treatments.
While the Marine Corps saying "Pain is weakness leaving the body" is fine for those that are training hard, it doesn't work for the rest of us. Pain does have a purpose, it lets us know when we have over exerted ourselves. Most of the time taking it easy will alleviate the pain, or maybe a pain medication is what we want.
When there is a new pain, or an increase in a chronic pain, please see a medical professional. Let them find the cause of the pain, and make their recommendations. Then when they have done everything they can do to relieve the pain and the cause of the pain, and there is still pain, do something different to manage the pain you have.
Our bodies are good at reducing the pain we feel on mild pain. Through the use of hypnosis the subconscious can stimulate that ability to reduce pain that is at a higher level. The subconscious is set to regulate the bodies functions, the heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, and other things that we don't think about. It keeps our bodies working while we are asleep and awake. It will stick to what is happening and has been happening. Hypnotherapy gives it something new to do.
While it would be tempting to completely reduce the pain to nothing, it does serve a purpose. The pain reminds us not to over exert ourselves. It does not need to be an incapacitating pain. With the pain at a lower level we are still reminded not to exert ourselves. With hypnotherapy to guide the subconscious to reduce the pain, and using self hypnosis is an effective way to manage pain without the side effects of pain medications.
Pain may be necessary during illness to keep us from causing ourselves more damage, yet it does not need to be extreme. Hypnotherapy is a very gentle way to manage the pain. Pain medication has it's place and still needs the supervision of a doctor to decrease it's use. Even though hypnotherapy is very effective, there may be times that the use of pain medications may be necessary. Integrating your health care gives you more choices, and with more choices comes empowerment.
The previous three posts are examples of Dream Yoga/IDL interviews. There is a lot we can learn from our subconscious mind when we learn how it communicates with us. When we learn to listen to the small, quiet voice of our subconscious we then act in our own best interest and the best interest of those around us.
Our conscious and subconscious mind is like an ice burg. The part that is above the water is like the conscious mind, it's only ten percent of the whole. It's the ten percent that we think of as being in charge; it's the part that makes active decisions on what to do. The other ninety percent that is our subconscious, it's the part that regulates our bodies functions, walking, eating, everything that we do without thinking about it. Our subconscious also is where different aspects of ourselves are. These different aspects of ourselves see the life issues and other problems that we face every day differently than our conscious mind does.
Through the interview process we talk to a different aspect of ourselves that has insight on the life issue, problem, or physical symptom that we are experiencing. When we listen to what we have to say we gain strength, and are able to resolve issues that we thought we impossible. Our minds and bodies are wonderful at keeping us healthy both physically and mentally as long as we listen to them. Dream Yoga/IDL is a very interactive way to explore and listen to our own inner knowledge.
I found the interview with the cancer I had very interesting, and freeing. Even though the concerns I had were in a way concerns of the cancer, they were seen from a different perspective. Giving me the freedom to be me.
1) What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?
1) Growing a business
2) Being able to meet my own expectations I have set for myself
3) Paying for my portion of the bills
2) The cancer or disease I have or had is….
A) Cervical Cancer
3) What feelings come up when you think about the cancer or disease?
A) Disappointment
4) If that feeling or feelings had a color, what color would it be?
A) Grey
5) Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.
Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What?
A) Palm tree
Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor? It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the _____ and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind. If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering - that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!
6) (Character,) would you please tell me what you look like and what you are doing?
A) I am tall and slender with a few palm fronds on the top, I’m swaying in the breeze
7) (Character,) What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?
A) I am tall and I move to the breeze
8) (Character,) What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses? What are they?
A) That I am tall and very thin and I could be easily blown over if the wind was strong enough
9) (Character), you are in this person’s life experience, correct? They created you, right?_____ (Character), what aspect of this person do you represent or most closely personify?
A) Yes, yes, despair
10) (Character,) if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change? If so, how?
A) no
(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)
11) (Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing? Why?
Confidence: 4, because I can be blown over
Compassion: 5, I know what it’s like to be swayed easily, yet it’s too easy to forget about taking care of my own needs
Wisdom: 10, I know what I know and I practice what I’ve learned through life
Acceptance: 7, there are parts of my self that I’m not proud of
Inner Peace: 3, There are times when I am very sad about where I’m at in life and what it is that I am doing
Witnessing: 2, I get involved with life to easily, I can’t seem to keep my nose out of other peoples business, and I’m not really helping at all
12) (Character,) if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different? If so, how?
A) Yes, I would be stronger, and would be able to use my height as way of watching the world go by.
13) (CharacterHow would ______’s life be different if he/she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?
A) she wouldn’t be so worried about what goes on around her and what others think about what she says or does, those that approve will stick around, those that don’t like it will drop away, and she will be better for letting them drop away
14) (CharacterIf you could live ______’s life for him/her, how would you live it differently?
A) I would be bolder and stronger, and fearless
15) (Character,) If you could live ______’s waking life for him/her today, would you handle ______'s three life issues differently? If so, how?
A) They wouldn’t be issues because she wouldn’t be worrying about these things, she would know that life will support her
16) (Character,) What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of ______'s life?
1) Writing for fun as well as for business, I wouldn’t worry about it but I would be mindful of them
2) Networking more because that is how she will meet the people that can help her the most
3) Finding more places to run workshops and seminars
17) (Character,) In what life situations would it be most beneficial for ____ to imagine that ______ is you and act as you would?
A) When she gets fearful about what others think, and that writing is like giving birth, it can be painful yet it is beautiful
18) (Character,) do you do drama? If not, why not?
A) No, it’s not worth the trouble because it always blows up in your face
19) (Character,) What is your secret for staying out of drama?
A) By taking a step back and looking at the person or situation from more than one side or angle, when you have a better perspective of a problem the answer becomes clearer even if that answer is to just stand back and do nothing
20) (Character,) Why do you think that you are in ______’s life?
A) To remind her to stand tall for her ideas and convictions
21) (Character,) How is ______ most likely to ignore what you are saying to them?
A) By thinking of herself as being small and unimportant, everyone is important and what they say and do is important
22) (Character,) What would you recommend that they do about that?
A) Take a deep breath, say I am Important and I do matter
23) (Dreamer,) What have you heard yourself say?
A) That I am important, that I do matter, and that what I say or do will get rid of the chaff and keep the wheat. I will keep the people that understand me and want my help
24) (Dreamer,) If this experience were a wake-up call from your soul, what do you think it would be saying to you?
A) Quit sniveling, be strong and tall, and stand your ground
Using Integral Deep Listening techniques a disease or physical symptom can be interviewed to find out what that symptom has to say for itself. In this interview a basal cell carcinoma (skin cancer) went from a pink jelly bean to a white dove. The dove had a few things to say about healing the skin cancer.
Interviewing a Physical Symptom
What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?
A) Health, making time for what I need to do, advertising my business
Choose any physical symptom. How does it make you feel?
A) Cancer on chin, frustrated
If that feeling had a color, what color would it be?
A) Pink
Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.
Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What?
A) Jelly bean
Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor? It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the _____ and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind. If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering - that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!
Would you please tell me what you look like and what you are doing?
A) I’m a pink jelly bean, I’m small and just hanging out
What do you like most about yourself in this experience? What are your strengths?
A) That I’m small, that I’m always around
What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses? What are they?
A) That I cause harm, that I don’t go away easily
(Character), you are in this person’s dream or life experience, correct? They created you, right?
A) Yes, yes
(Character), what aspect of this person do you represent or most closely personify?
A) Her grief
(Character,) if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change? If so, how?
A) Yes, I would become a white dove
(Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in
Confidence, A) 8, sometimes I can’t fly in the wind
Compassion, A) 7, sometimes I care more about myself than others
Wisdom, A) 3, I am still young, I’ve learned a lot and haven’t had the experiences in life to make them my own
Acceptance, A) 7, I don’t always accept my short comings or that of the others (what do you mean by others?) people and illnesses
Peace of mind, A) 3, I think too much about what is going on around me
And witnessing? (And why?)A) 4, I get caught up in what is going on around me
(Character,) if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different? If so, how?
A) Yes, I would be able to fly away and take any illness with me, I wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore
How would this person’s life be different if he/she naturally scored high in all six of these qualities all the time?
A) She wouldn’t worry about anything, she wouldn’t have any serious illnesses, she would be happier, and she would do all that she truly wanted to do
If you could live this person’s waking life for him/her, how would you live it differently?
A) I would live without fear
If you could live this person’s waking life for him/her today, would you handle his/her three life issues differently? If so, how?
A)yes, these life issues aren’t the ones she needs to think about, she will get what she needs including time to do what she wants to do
What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of his/her life?
A) letting her fears fly free, and letting them go where they will because they won’t return
In what life situations would it be most beneficial for this person to imagine that they are you and act as you would?
A) Whenever she feels tied down with worry
Why do you think that you are in this person’s life experience (or dream)?
A) Because she is worrying that her cancer isn’t healing even though she is doing what will heal the cancer sore
How is this person most likely to ignore what you are saying to them?
A) By forgetting that she has wings
(What can she do to remember to be like you?) To hang a bird in her room, carry a feather around with her
(Dreamer,) what have you heard yourself say?
A) That I need to stop worrying about healing, that I’m doing the right things to get better
(Dreamer,) if this experience were a wake-up call from your soul, what do you think it would be saying to you?
This is a quick introduction of who I am, what my business does, and why I started this business. There is quite a bit of information to be given, yet I will keep it short and expound upon it another time. More details later.
In 2001 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I went through surgery and radiation therapy. While I was going through all of the treatments, I had wanted something else other than the medicines that I was given for pain relief and nausea, sometimes the side effects were worse than what I was taking them for. I started meditating using guided imagery to gain some balance in my health care.
I wanted to do more to help others that are going through some of the same treatments that I had gone through. It took some time to find the right school that would give me the training I wanted. I found the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts. I am now a Certified Hypnotherapist, a Life Coach, a certificate of excellence in Integral Deep Listening, and Chinese Shamanism.
I use the tools and techniques that I have learned to help those that have been given a diagnosis of a serious illness and their caregiver to empower their health care and their lives. I help them with pain management, stress management, insomnia, healthy eating, simple exercises, and the emotional needs that come with any long term illness.
My name is Adrianne Snyder, I am a Certified Hypnotherapist, Life Coach. My business is her to empower your life and health care.
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