Core Quality: Acceptance

What is acceptance? This is how it is defined in Dictionary.com:

1. the act of taking or receiving something offered.

2. favorable reception; approval; favor.

3. the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.

4. the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.

As a core quality this is only the surface of what it means. Sometimes acceptance means acknowledging something that we don't necessarily agree with, it's a fact that we have to accept. We don't have to agree with it, like it, or even support it, we just have to accept it for what it is. I like to use the analogy of the rising of the sun. I am not a morning person and the sun always rises way to early for me, I don't like it yet I have to accept that it will rise in it's appointed time. I can't change it either.

Some believe that acceptance means that we agree with someone or something. That is not the case. To accept something means that we accept that it is there or that it is what someone believes to be true. We don't have to agree with someone just to accept their opinion on something. We don't even have to like what we are being asked to accept. We just have to accept it.

There are parts of our subconscious that understand what it means to accept what is around us and are willing to share their insights on how to be more accepting.

The New Normal. What does that mean?

Just what does the phrase “new normal” mean? It means that whatever had been the status quo before cancer is not going to be the same after cancer. So that's a very basic definition, yet that doesn't really convey exactly what it means.

I have found that the recovery period was not so much for getting over the disease itself, more for the recovery from the treatment process. I am still learning to live with some side effects from chemo therapy and radiation therapy. Hopefully these will clear up shortly, a couple may take longer. These are part of what my new normal is now. Yet these aren't the only things that have changed.

When I first started this last journey with cancer I had in mind of going back to work when I was done with treatment and could think little clearer. After going through the treatments and all the changes that brought on, I now know that working a regular job is not for me. I am putting myself totally into what I have wanted to do. I am writing, I am promoting myself and my business, I am doing exactly what I want.

I am not the only person to get to the other side of treatment to realize that life is to short to live like others expect. Now is the time to do exactly what you are passionate about. I had been taking care of myself, and being selfish during treatment, just because I am done with treatment doesn't mean I have to stop taking care of myself. The same goes for everyone who has dealt with any serious illness. Even though you are past the illness itself doesn't mean you have to stop taking care of you.

This is where keeping the lines of communication open is a big step to getting the support that you need. My book, I've Got What, helps you to open those lines of communication with yourself and those who care about you.

Pain Management and Hypnotherapy

While the Marine Corps saying "Pain is weakness leaving the body" is fine for those that are training hard, it doesn't work for the rest of us. Pain does have a purpose, it lets us know when we have over exerted ourselves. Most of the time taking it easy will alleviate the pain, or maybe a pain medication is what we want.

When there is a new pain, or an increase in a chronic pain, please see a medical professional. Let them find the cause of the pain, and make their recommendations. Then when they have done everything they can do to relieve the pain and the cause of the pain, and there is still pain, do something different to manage the pain you have.

Our bodies are good at reducing the pain we feel on mild pain. Through the use of hypnosis the subconscious can stimulate that ability to reduce pain that is at a higher level. The subconscious is set to regulate the bodies functions, the heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, and other things that we don't think about. It keeps our bodies working while we are asleep and awake. It will stick to what is happening and has been happening. Hypnotherapy gives it something new to do.

While it would be tempting to completely reduce the pain to nothing, it does serve a purpose. The pain reminds us not to over exert ourselves. It does not need to be an incapacitating pain. With the pain at a lower level we are still reminded not to exert ourselves. With hypnotherapy to guide the subconscious to reduce the pain, and using self hypnosis is an effective way to manage pain without the side effects of pain medications.

Pain may be necessary during illness to keep us from causing ourselves more damage, yet it does not need to be extreme. Hypnotherapy is a very gentle way to manage the pain. Pain medication has it's place and still needs the supervision of a doctor to decrease it's use. Even though hypnotherapy is very effective, there may be times that the use of pain medications may be necessary. Integrating your health care gives you more choices, and with more choices comes empowerment.

A White Dove to take worries and illness away

Using Integral Deep Listening techniques a disease or physical symptom can be interviewed to find out what that symptom has to say for itself. In this interview a basal cell carcinoma (skin cancer) went from a pink jelly bean to a white dove. The dove had a few things to say about healing the skin cancer.

Interviewing a Physical Symptom

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

A) Health, making time for what I need to do, advertising my business

Choose any physical symptom.  How does it make you feel?

A) Cancer on chin, frustrated

If that feeling had a color, what color would it be?

A) Pink

 Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.  

Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What? 

A) Jelly bean

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the _____ and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering - that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

Would you please tell me what you look like and what you are doing?

A) I’m a pink jelly bean, I’m small and just hanging out

What do you like most about yourself in this experience? What are your strengths?

A) That I’m small, that I’m always around

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

A) That I cause harm, that I don’t go away easily

 (Character), you are in this person’s dream or life experience, correct?  They created you, right?

A) Yes, yes

(Character), what aspect of this person do you represent or most closely personify?

A) Her grief

(Character,) if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

A) Yes, I would become a white dove

(Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in

Confidence, A) 8, sometimes I can’t fly in the wind

Compassion, A) 7, sometimes I care more about myself than others

Wisdom, A) 3, I am still young, I’ve learned a lot and haven’t had the experiences in life to make them my own

 Acceptance, A) 7, I don’t always accept my short comings or that of the others (what do you mean by others?) people and illnesses

Peace of mind, A) 3, I think too much about what is going on around me

And witnessing?  (And why?)A) 4, I get caught up in what is going on around me

(Character,) if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

A) Yes, I would be able to fly away and take any illness with me, I wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore

How would this person’s life be different if he/she naturally scored high in all six of these qualities all the time?

A) She wouldn’t worry about anything, she wouldn’t have any serious illnesses, she would be happier, and she would do all that she truly wanted to do

If you could live this person’s waking life for him/her, how would you live it differently?

A) I would live without fear

If you could live this person’s waking life for him/her today, would you handle his/her three life issues differently?  If so, how?

A)yes, these life issues aren’t the ones she needs to think about, she will get what she needs including time to do what she wants to do

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of his/her life?

A) letting her fears fly free, and letting them go where they will because they won’t return

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for this person to imagine that they are you and act as you would? 

A) Whenever she feels tied down with worry

Why do you think that you are in this person’s life experience (or dream)? 

A) Because she is worrying that her cancer isn’t healing even though she is doing what will heal the cancer sore

How is this person most likely to ignore what you are saying to them?

A) By forgetting that she has wings

(What can she do to remember to be like you?) To hang a bird in her room, carry a feather around with her

(Dreamer,) what have you heard yourself say?

A) That I need to stop worrying about healing, that I’m doing the right things to get better

(Dreamer,) if this experience were a wake-up call from your soul, what do you think it would be saying to you?

A) To keep doing what I’ve been doing