The New Normal. What does that mean?

Just what does the phrase “new normal” mean? It means that whatever had been the status quo before cancer is not going to be the same after cancer. So that's a very basic definition, yet that doesn't really convey exactly what it means.

I have found that the recovery period was not so much for getting over the disease itself, more for the recovery from the treatment process. I am still learning to live with some side effects from chemo therapy and radiation therapy. Hopefully these will clear up shortly, a couple may take longer. These are part of what my new normal is now. Yet these aren't the only things that have changed.

When I first started this last journey with cancer I had in mind of going back to work when I was done with treatment and could think little clearer. After going through the treatments and all the changes that brought on, I now know that working a regular job is not for me. I am putting myself totally into what I have wanted to do. I am writing, I am promoting myself and my business, I am doing exactly what I want.

I am not the only person to get to the other side of treatment to realize that life is to short to live like others expect. Now is the time to do exactly what you are passionate about. I had been taking care of myself, and being selfish during treatment, just because I am done with treatment doesn't mean I have to stop taking care of myself. The same goes for everyone who has dealt with any serious illness. Even though you are past the illness itself doesn't mean you have to stop taking care of you.

This is where keeping the lines of communication open is a big step to getting the support that you need. My book, I've Got What, helps you to open those lines of communication with yourself and those who care about you.

Video Games and Healing

Using our imagination to “think” ourselves healthy is a good thing. The only problem is that most adults have a very limited imagination. This is usually because we spend our time with the day to day necessities of life. We have forgotten how to play.

When I watch a child play they are in their own little world. They make up the rules for their play as they go along. They are in control of what happens in their world. Even when faced with a debilitating illness they find a way to play. With encouragement they even use their imagination to be the hero in their own fight to beat their illness.

After being diagnosed with cancer I wanted to do more than just follow doctors orders. I wanted to be at the center of making myself healthy once again. I remembered an old article that I had read many years ago about children that were encouraged to see themselves and their own immune system as heroes. These heroes then would do battle with the disease. The study recognized that the children who had been encouraged to become the heroes in their recovery were quicker to recover than those children who had not been encouraged to be their own heroes.

Knowing that my own thought processes and imagination were hampered by the chemo therapy I decided to use video games to boost my imagination. I found a game where I could create my own character, and become the hero of the game. For every villain, bandit, necromancer, vampire, werewolf, and dragon that I killed it was one more cancer cell that died never to return. I believe that between the chemo therapy and the video game I was able to beat cancer.

In my play through while under going treatment my character is a nord with a two-handed battle ax. This character is now strong enough to knock the legs out from under the opponent before striking them on the head for the death blow. The name of my character is a German word for death.

Video games can be a waste of time, especially if playing them comes before everything else that needs to be done. Yet, when you can't go anywhere, see anyone, or do anything, they are a great escape. When you use it as a supplement to your imagination to beat an illness, no matter what it is, they are a very good thing indeed. The video games help to focus the attention thereby keeping the imagination engaged.

An Open Letter to My Readers

Dear Readers,

I want to apologize for the length of time between my posts. Life got in the way of what I wanted to do. Because of this I have spent the last three years rearranging my life and my priorities. Part of what happened is a move and a diagnosis of breast cancer. It is the latter of the two that has prompted me to get my life into focus and do that which I want to do, and not those things that others would have me do.

I have gotten even more serious about writing  It is something that I have always enjoyed and wanted to do with the aim of becoming a published author. Part of that goal was to actually reach the goal set for National Novel Writing Month, which I have been participating in for the last eight years. I finally reached the 50,000 word goal in 2012. Part of being a winner for this group is that one of the sponsors will print five paperback copies of your book. I have my five copies of my first finished book. When I am finished editing it, it will be up for sale at Lean Pub, you can follow the link to at least see the cover of the book and sign up to be notified when it is published.

I do have book that is already for sale. It is partly about my experience with cancer and a workbook designed to help cancer patients and their caregivers open up the lines of communication that can close after hearing that you've got cancer. The book is entitled I've Got What?!? Asking for the Help You Need. When you go to this page you will be able to read the first chapter.

I still have a presence on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and now at National Association of Professional Women. If you are not already following me on these sites please take a moment to do so.

Because I like to write I am going to do my best at posting in this blog at least once a week. In the past I worried about what everyone thought, if I was going to offend or upset any of my readers. Not so much anymore, that doesn't men I'm going to go out of my way to offend everyone, I'm just not going to worry if I've offended anyone. I'm also going to put some of myself into my postings, something I hadn't really done in this one before. What I'm attempting to say is that I'm going to be more authentic in this blog than I was before.

I do hope that you will continue to follow my writings, and encourage others to read what I am writing. Thank you for being so patient with me.

Spirituality and Cancer

When diagnosed with cancer one can begin to loose faith. It can be difficult to believe that there is a higher power that loves us when we a struck with any serious illness. Yet it is our connection with our spiritual life that helps us through the illness and the treatments. It is our belief system that keeps us grounded and able to handle anything that comes our way.

Being angry and denouncing our beliefs is a natural response to any life threatening illness. Staying angry though isolates us and then we define ourselves as the illness that we have. When we get past the anger and forgive ourselves, we find that our spiritual connection is more than a connection between us and our higher power.

Immersing ourselves in our spiritual beliefs is more than a connection to a higher power. There is also the community of people that hold the same beliefs. When that community is there supporting us, we feel better about ourselves and our illness. It also helps us through all the treatments, it also has a positive effect on our healing. It doesn't matter whether the illness is cured, in remission, or the prognosis is that there is only a short time to live, our beliefs help us to have the state of mind of love and compassion. We are then better able to face what the disease brings us, and our loved ones have a support group that will help them through the disease as well.

Even if your beliefs change, there is still the advantage of a community. You may even find that your spirituality becomes stronger. Doctors will treat the body, your beliefs will calm the mind. Positive thoughts especially when there is an illness helps keep the disease from taking over your life. Being involved in your spiritual community takes the mind off the illness and the treatments.

Pain Management and Hypnotherapy

While the Marine Corps saying "Pain is weakness leaving the body" is fine for those that are training hard, it doesn't work for the rest of us. Pain does have a purpose, it lets us know when we have over exerted ourselves. Most of the time taking it easy will alleviate the pain, or maybe a pain medication is what we want.

When there is a new pain, or an increase in a chronic pain, please see a medical professional. Let them find the cause of the pain, and make their recommendations. Then when they have done everything they can do to relieve the pain and the cause of the pain, and there is still pain, do something different to manage the pain you have.

Our bodies are good at reducing the pain we feel on mild pain. Through the use of hypnosis the subconscious can stimulate that ability to reduce pain that is at a higher level. The subconscious is set to regulate the bodies functions, the heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, and other things that we don't think about. It keeps our bodies working while we are asleep and awake. It will stick to what is happening and has been happening. Hypnotherapy gives it something new to do.

While it would be tempting to completely reduce the pain to nothing, it does serve a purpose. The pain reminds us not to over exert ourselves. It does not need to be an incapacitating pain. With the pain at a lower level we are still reminded not to exert ourselves. With hypnotherapy to guide the subconscious to reduce the pain, and using self hypnosis is an effective way to manage pain without the side effects of pain medications.

Pain may be necessary during illness to keep us from causing ourselves more damage, yet it does not need to be extreme. Hypnotherapy is a very gentle way to manage the pain. Pain medication has it's place and still needs the supervision of a doctor to decrease it's use. Even though hypnotherapy is very effective, there may be times that the use of pain medications may be necessary. Integrating your health care gives you more choices, and with more choices comes empowerment.

What is Dream Yoga/IDL?

The previous three posts are examples of Dream Yoga/IDL interviews. There is a lot we can learn from our subconscious mind when we learn how it communicates with us. When we learn to listen to the small, quiet voice of our subconscious we then act in our own best interest and the best interest of those around us.

Our conscious and subconscious mind is like an ice burg. The part that is above the water is like the conscious mind, it's only ten percent of the whole. It's the ten percent that we think of as being in charge; it's the part that makes active decisions on what to do. The other ninety percent that is our subconscious, it's the part that regulates our bodies functions, walking, eating, everything that we do without thinking about it. Our subconscious also is where different aspects of ourselves are. These different aspects of ourselves see the life issues and other problems that we face every day differently than our conscious mind does.

Through the interview process we talk to a different aspect of ourselves that has insight on the life issue, problem, or physical symptom that we are experiencing. When we listen to what we have to say we gain strength, and are able to resolve issues that we thought we impossible. Our minds and bodies are wonderful at keeping us healthy both physically and mentally as long as we listen to them. Dream Yoga/IDL is a very interactive way to explore and listen to our own inner knowledge.

Palm Tree of Despair

I found the interview with the cancer I had very interesting, and freeing. Even though the concerns I had were in a way concerns of the cancer, they were seen from a different perspective. Giving me the freedom to be me.

1) What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

1)  Growing a business

2)  Being able to meet my own expectations I have set for myself

3)  Paying for my portion of the bills

2) The cancer or disease I have or had is…. 

A) Cervical Cancer

3) What feelings come up when you think about the cancer or disease?

A) Disappointment

4) If that feeling or feelings had a color, what color would it be?

A) Grey

5)  Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.  

Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What? 

A) Palm tree

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the _____ and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering - that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

6) (Character,) would you please tell me what you look like and what you are doing?

A) I am tall and slender with a few palm fronds on the top, I’m swaying in the breeze

7) (Character,) What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

A) I am tall and I move to the breeze

8) (Character,) What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

A) That I am tall and very thin and I could be easily blown over if the wind was strong enough

9) (Character), you are in this person’s life experience, correct?  They created you, right?_____  (Character), what aspect of this person do you represent or most closely personify?

A)  Yes, yes, despair

10) (Character,) if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

A) no

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

11) (Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing?  Why?

Confidence: 4, because I can be blown over

Compassion: 5, I know what it’s like to be swayed easily, yet it’s too easy to forget about taking care of my own needs

Wisdom: 10, I know what I know and I practice what I’ve learned through life

Acceptance: 7, there are parts of my self that I’m not proud of

Inner Peace: 3, There are times when I am very sad about where I’m at in life and what it is that I am doing

Witnessing: 2, I get involved with life to easily, I can’t seem to keep my nose out of other peoples business, and I’m not really helping at all

12) (Character,) if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

A) Yes, I would be stronger, and would be able to use my height as way of watching the world go by.

13) (Character How would ______’s life be different if  he/she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?

A) she wouldn’t be so worried about what goes on around her and what others think about what she says or does, those that approve will stick around, those that don’t like it will drop away, and she will be better for letting them drop away

14) (Character If you could live ______’s life for him/her, how would you live it differently?

A) I would be bolder and stronger, and fearless

15) (Character,) If you could live  ______’s waking life for him/her today, would you handle  ______'s three life issues differently?  If so, how?

A) They wouldn’t be issues because she wouldn’t be worrying about these things, she would know that life will support her

16) (Character,) What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of  ______'s life?

1) Writing for fun as well as for business, I wouldn’t worry about it but I would be mindful of them

2) Networking more because that is how she will meet the people that can help her the most

3)  Finding more places to run workshops and seminars

17) (Character,) In what life situations would it be most beneficial for ____ to imagine that  ______ is you and act as you would? 

A) When she gets fearful about what others think, and that writing is like giving birth, it can be painful yet it is beautiful  

18) (Character,) do you do drama?  If not, why not?

A) No, it’s not worth the trouble because it always blows up in your face

19) (Character,) What is your secret for staying out of drama?

A)  By taking a step back and looking at the person or situation from more than one side or angle, when you have a better perspective of a problem the answer becomes clearer even if that answer is to just stand back and do nothing

20) (Character,) Why do you think that you are in ______’s life? 

A) To remind her to stand tall for her ideas and convictions

21) (Character,) How is  ______ most likely to ignore what you are saying to them?

A) By thinking of herself as being small and unimportant, everyone is important and what they say and do is important

22) (Character,) What would you recommend that they do about that?

A) Take a deep breath, say I am Important and I do matter

23) (Dreamer,) What have you heard yourself say?

A) That I am important, that I do matter, and that what I say or do will get rid of the chaff and keep the wheat. I will keep the people that understand me and want my help

24) (Dreamer,) If this experience were a wake-up call from your soul, what do you think it would be saying to you?

A)  Quit sniveling, be strong and tall, and stand your ground