Core Quality: Witnessing

Is witnessing just watching? According to Dictionary.com this is how they define witnessing:

verb (used with object)

1.
to see, hear, or know by personal presence and perception: to witness an accident.

2.
to be present at (an occurrence) as a formal witness, spectator, bystander, etc.: She witnessed our wedding.

3.
to bear witness to; testify to; give or afford evidence of.

4.
to attest by one's signature: He witnessed her will.

verb (used without object)

5.
to bear witness; testify; give or afford evidence.

As a Core Quality it is more than just this definition. It is watching what is happening all around you all the time. Watching without becoming involved either physically or emotionally. Once we become involved in any way we become a part of what is going on around us. There are times when our interference is not needed nor appreciated. Being able to just see what is happening is enough.

There are part of our subconscious that now exactly hot to witness without any judgments or emotional ties to what we are witnessing. It is from these parts of ourselves that we can learn how to be a witness without changing the scene that we are witnessing.

Core Quality: Inner Peace

What is Inner Peace? I found this definition on Wikipedia, it sums it up very well:

Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally and spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. Being "at peace" is considered by many to be healthy (homeostasis) and the opposite of being stressed or anxious. Peace of mind is generally associated with bliss,happiness and contentment.

We can have moments of inner peace when life itself is quiet. The trick is to have inner peace when the world around us is noisy, bothersome, and intrusive. There is a part of our subconscious that knows exactly how to have inner peace at all times no matter what is going on around us.

As core quality we all have the means to reach inner peace. We have to listen to the part of our inner selves that knows how to achieve this state. As with the other core qualities I have already discussed, and the others that I have yet to write about, Integral Deep Listening allows those parts of our inner selves to impart their suggestions on what we should do. Even if we only reach inner peace a little at a time, that is a bit of peace that we didn't have before and can be built upon.

Core Quality: Acceptance

What is acceptance? This is how it is defined in Dictionary.com:

1. the act of taking or receiving something offered.

2. favorable reception; approval; favor.

3. the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.

4. the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.

As a core quality this is only the surface of what it means. Sometimes acceptance means acknowledging something that we don't necessarily agree with, it's a fact that we have to accept. We don't have to agree with it, like it, or even support it, we just have to accept it for what it is. I like to use the analogy of the rising of the sun. I am not a morning person and the sun always rises way to early for me, I don't like it yet I have to accept that it will rise in it's appointed time. I can't change it either.

Some believe that acceptance means that we agree with someone or something. That is not the case. To accept something means that we accept that it is there or that it is what someone believes to be true. We don't have to agree with someone just to accept their opinion on something. We don't even have to like what we are being asked to accept. We just have to accept it.

There are parts of our subconscious that understand what it means to accept what is around us and are willing to share their insights on how to be more accepting.

Core Quality: Wisdom

The next Core Quality to be examined is Wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom are not the same thing. We gain knowledge through school and through reading, we gain wisdom by experience.

The definition of wisdom as stated in Dictionary.com:

1. the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just 
   judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.

2.  scholarly knowledge or learning: the wisdom of the schools.

Wisdom as a core quality is more than what the dictionary tells us. It is a knowing, without being superior. As a core quality it sees and knows because of past experience. When we act and make decisions based on wisdom, these choices come from the heart and are based in truth.

When we are taught we gain knowledge. We gain knowledge from school, parents, and others around us. It is when we live life and gain experience that the knowledge that we have gained becomes wisdom. There are aspects of ourselves that are in our subconscious that have a great deal of wisdom. When we converse with them we gain their wisdom as well.

Core Quality: Compassion

In this post I will go over the core quality compassion. What does compassion mean? Who are we to have compassion for?

From Dictionay.com:

a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

This is a place to start. For it to be a core quality compassion should be shown not only to those who are suffering yet also to ourselves. Not just in times of sadness, also any time that we interact with anyone for any reason. We can feel compassion towards everyone without having to interact as well. We especially need to remember to have compassion for ourselves.

It is compassion towards ourselves that we have the hardest time doing. Yet this is exactly what we need to do. When we are able to show compassion to ourselves we are better able to show compassion to others. There are parts of us that know exactly how to be compassionate. It is with Integral Deep Listening that we can connect with that part of ourselves and hear what we need to know on being compassionate.

Core Quality:Confidence

The first of the core qualities I am going to discuss is confidence. Just what is confidence? Dictionary.com defines it as:

1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to succeed.
2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence;self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him.

While this is a good place to start it doesn't quit measure up to being a core quality. I would add being fearless as part of that definition. Truly knowing yourself and your abilities, and being able and willing to push beyond the boundaries.

There are parts of our subconscious that are full of confidence. That part of us knows that we can handle any life issue that comes our way. That part is more than willing to share their strength in confidence if we would allow it. As we grow more confident in ourselves, we see the world and our life issues in different light.

When I was first diagnosed with cancer I was afraid, in disbelief, and in denial. Tapping into the parts of me that are confident I was able to overcome the fear and make the decisions necessary for my treatment. The more I allowed myself to feel confident in my decisions the better I felt about what was going on with my treatment.  

Integral Deep Listening Core Qualities

We all have the six core qualities that I will be discussing in more detail in following blogs. In each situation that we face those qualities come into play, and they may be at different levels depending on how we feel about the given situation.

Integral Deep Listening explores how our subconscious perceives itself according to these six qualities. It also explores how we would act differently if we scored high in all these areas. It also helps us discover new ways of resolving current life issues. Please see my post for an in depth explanation of IDL: What is Dream Yoga?.

The six core qualities that I will explain over the next postings are:

• confidence
• compassion
• wisdom
• acceptance
• inner peace
• witnessing

Integral Deep Listening works well for everyone, it even works while undergoing chemotherapy and the chemo fog that comes with it.

Hypnotherapy and Cancer

When it comes to cancer, or any disease really, hypnotherapy works great. It helps with stress management, pain relief, insomnia, and controlling fear. With the proper post hypnotic suggestions all of these can be sustained through the entire treatment process.

What the suggestions are depends on the person. Some respond well to just remembering to breathe deeply, others need a little more than that. Getting to know you is what will give the best results through the whole process and will guide the hypnotherapist to what works best.

To get the best results seeing a hypnotherapist before starting treatments will give better success to the treatments through the whole process. Especially before starting chemotherapy. With chemotherapy a person will get what is commonly known as chemo brain.

Chemo brain is a side effect of the chemotherapy. It fogs the thinking process to the point that it is sometimes difficult to put sentences together, it effects short term memory, and has the effect of being in a different state of mind. This different state of mind makes it difficult, if not impossible, to be hypnotized. This is when having the proper post hypnotic suggestions is crucial. Being reminded of them will help to relieve stress, pain, fear, and insomnia.

There are other ways to relieve these problems without using hypnotherapy, and a good hypnotherapist will know what they are and how they can help you.

The New Normal. What does that mean?

Just what does the phrase “new normal” mean? It means that whatever had been the status quo before cancer is not going to be the same after cancer. So that's a very basic definition, yet that doesn't really convey exactly what it means.

I have found that the recovery period was not so much for getting over the disease itself, more for the recovery from the treatment process. I am still learning to live with some side effects from chemo therapy and radiation therapy. Hopefully these will clear up shortly, a couple may take longer. These are part of what my new normal is now. Yet these aren't the only things that have changed.

When I first started this last journey with cancer I had in mind of going back to work when I was done with treatment and could think little clearer. After going through the treatments and all the changes that brought on, I now know that working a regular job is not for me. I am putting myself totally into what I have wanted to do. I am writing, I am promoting myself and my business, I am doing exactly what I want.

I am not the only person to get to the other side of treatment to realize that life is to short to live like others expect. Now is the time to do exactly what you are passionate about. I had been taking care of myself, and being selfish during treatment, just because I am done with treatment doesn't mean I have to stop taking care of myself. The same goes for everyone who has dealt with any serious illness. Even though you are past the illness itself doesn't mean you have to stop taking care of you.

This is where keeping the lines of communication open is a big step to getting the support that you need. My book, I've Got What, helps you to open those lines of communication with yourself and those who care about you.

Video Games and Healing

Using our imagination to “think” ourselves healthy is a good thing. The only problem is that most adults have a very limited imagination. This is usually because we spend our time with the day to day necessities of life. We have forgotten how to play.

When I watch a child play they are in their own little world. They make up the rules for their play as they go along. They are in control of what happens in their world. Even when faced with a debilitating illness they find a way to play. With encouragement they even use their imagination to be the hero in their own fight to beat their illness.

After being diagnosed with cancer I wanted to do more than just follow doctors orders. I wanted to be at the center of making myself healthy once again. I remembered an old article that I had read many years ago about children that were encouraged to see themselves and their own immune system as heroes. These heroes then would do battle with the disease. The study recognized that the children who had been encouraged to become the heroes in their recovery were quicker to recover than those children who had not been encouraged to be their own heroes.

Knowing that my own thought processes and imagination were hampered by the chemo therapy I decided to use video games to boost my imagination. I found a game where I could create my own character, and become the hero of the game. For every villain, bandit, necromancer, vampire, werewolf, and dragon that I killed it was one more cancer cell that died never to return. I believe that between the chemo therapy and the video game I was able to beat cancer.

In my play through while under going treatment my character is a nord with a two-handed battle ax. This character is now strong enough to knock the legs out from under the opponent before striking them on the head for the death blow. The name of my character is a German word for death.

Video games can be a waste of time, especially if playing them comes before everything else that needs to be done. Yet, when you can't go anywhere, see anyone, or do anything, they are a great escape. When you use it as a supplement to your imagination to beat an illness, no matter what it is, they are a very good thing indeed. The video games help to focus the attention thereby keeping the imagination engaged.

An Open Letter to My Readers

Dear Readers,

I want to apologize for the length of time between my posts. Life got in the way of what I wanted to do. Because of this I have spent the last three years rearranging my life and my priorities. Part of what happened is a move and a diagnosis of breast cancer. It is the latter of the two that has prompted me to get my life into focus and do that which I want to do, and not those things that others would have me do.

I have gotten even more serious about writing  It is something that I have always enjoyed and wanted to do with the aim of becoming a published author. Part of that goal was to actually reach the goal set for National Novel Writing Month, which I have been participating in for the last eight years. I finally reached the 50,000 word goal in 2012. Part of being a winner for this group is that one of the sponsors will print five paperback copies of your book. I have my five copies of my first finished book. When I am finished editing it, it will be up for sale at Lean Pub, you can follow the link to at least see the cover of the book and sign up to be notified when it is published.

I do have book that is already for sale. It is partly about my experience with cancer and a workbook designed to help cancer patients and their caregivers open up the lines of communication that can close after hearing that you've got cancer. The book is entitled I've Got What?!? Asking for the Help You Need. When you go to this page you will be able to read the first chapter.

I still have a presence on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and now at National Association of Professional Women. If you are not already following me on these sites please take a moment to do so.

Because I like to write I am going to do my best at posting in this blog at least once a week. In the past I worried about what everyone thought, if I was going to offend or upset any of my readers. Not so much anymore, that doesn't men I'm going to go out of my way to offend everyone, I'm just not going to worry if I've offended anyone. I'm also going to put some of myself into my postings, something I hadn't really done in this one before. What I'm attempting to say is that I'm going to be more authentic in this blog than I was before.

I do hope that you will continue to follow my writings, and encourage others to read what I am writing. Thank you for being so patient with me.